Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Don't be a Victim

I was recently speaking with a group of friends and we started talking about life. We discussed how people of action truly live life.

We also discussed how people who complain and blame never go anywhere. We said they become victims. I had to look up the definition.

victim |ˈviktəm|
a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
• a person who is tricked or duped : the victim of a hoax.
• a living creature killed as a sacrifice.

fall victim to be hurt, killed, damaged, or destroyed by : many streams have fallen victim to the recent drought.

ORIGIN late 15th cent. (denoting a creature killed as a religious sacrifice): from Latin victim.

This is when I made the quote:
"Blaming and Complaining allows us to be victimized"
My friends had me improve the quote:
"When you Blame and Complain you victimize yourself!"

The American Way has become to blame someone else or complain. We don't take any personal responsibility for our actions or choices. We just blame and complain and go no where. The people of action do something to make a change. They don't allow themselves to be hurt, duped, fooled, injured or sacrificed.

The next time you spend a huge amount of time blame and complaining, realize all you're doing is make yourself the victim. You are allowing yourself to be hurt, duped, fooled, injured, sacrificed or killed!

I don't think you want those things to happen. Turn and face the dangers don't allow yourself to be a victim.

Do you Dread Life? (Part II)

dread |dred|
verb [ trans. ]
anticipate with great apprehension or fear : Jane was dreading the party | [with infinitive ] I dread to think what Russell will say.
• archaic regard with great awe or reverence.

Has life turned out the way you expected? Do you like your job? Do you like your situation in life? Do you feel things are harder for you than others? Do you have a hard time getting out of bed? Do you constantly ask yourself, "why me?" Do you feel your job hinders your life more than making it happen?

I can truly type that I ask and answer the questions above. Most of my blog posts show off the good points of my life, but every now and then I'll post something about the not so good.

Today is the not so good, or the truth about being an aspiring professional speaker.

Over five years ago, I began the adventure to pursue something I am truly passionate about. I'll admit, I've done things right and I've made more than a few mistakes. Through it all I was working towards my passion. The problem is, there are lots of roadblocks, detours and natural disasters that occur when you are chasing after your passion. These are days when you can't work on your passion. These days can lead to you dreading life. The question is, what will you do to change that dread.

Many people have heard the comment "starving artist" or "struggling artist." They are so true. When I have to the opportunity to speak and perform, the feeling is amazing. They pay is "really" good and I feel alive. Then just like that, I can go weeks or months before I feel that way again. As I said, the pay is and can be "really" good when you are working, but when you're not working, you're not getting paid. The fear of how do I live and support my family become very overwhelming. I am forced to find other forms of income.

Life is not easy. We have responsibilities. Many of them are financial. When you're not getting paid you have to find ways to pay the bills. For me, this means looking for work or in many cases Part-time jobs. Everyone thinks I should be able to get a great job with not problem. I wish that was true. I can't even get an interview. Over the years, I've chosen to accept a variety of part-time jobs. Many of these jobs make me feel less than I am because there is no sense of satisfaction, no real purpose or goal, the pay stinks (Companies, minimum wage doesn't meet minimum living standards) and motivation to enjoy life is very low.

I have a great resume, college education, great references, a ton of experience and a proven track record of successes. But, just like so many, I'm left scratching my head wondering why I can't find something satisfying and will pay the bills and allow me and my wife to save for the future or treat ourselves to the occasional treat. I often think how can we have a family living this way.

When I'm not speaking, I put us situations that allows unsatisfying jobs to dictate our lives.

Over the years, I've applied to work several jobs. Some, I said I would never work or apply for. Some have been better than expected, but most have been what was expected. A few examples are below

I spent time renting cars for Enterprise Rental Cars. It was advertised as management job. it wasn't. They may go down as the worst employer I have EVER worked for. If you're ever thinking about working for them, don't do it.

I worked for the Phoenix Zoo. It was a good three years. I learned a lot and met lots of good people, but working for a non-profit doesn't pay your bills and the commute was just too long. Thank you Oil companies for affordable fuel.

Right now I work at Bed, Bath and Beyond (BBB). I stock shelves, work a register and clean toilets at night. I feel really glamorous after performing in front of hundreds of people one night, I change lives. The next day the ego takes a hit by working retail. I get tired of hearing why are you here, you could do so much better. Or I hear "why aren't you a manager, you act like one." (I teach and train managers and leaders nationwide) I often ask myself. "Why am I here?" BBB has proven to me why I got out of retail so many years ago. Retail is not fun to work in. Customers aren't happy because of poor customer service and low quality merchandise. Retailers say they believe in "customer service," but most of the time they just want you to push items on customers that are poor quality and no one wants. Which is the opposite of customer service. There are many times where corporate decisions leave employees performing damage control while being yelled at by customers. I'll admit BBB is flexible with my schedule. Most jobs probably would have fired me by now, but to be honest I have no motivation to go to work other than collecting a check in the attempt to pay our bills (my college loan and other bills I racked up pursuing my education.). I have no long term future with BBB and it will probably be shorter after posting this blog. But, the honesty really makes me feel better.

I do have two things I enjoy doing. I'm working as a Food Tour guide in Phoenix, Arizona and working as Respite Care provider for a local non-profit. I really like the work I do for them, but the hours aren't consistent, which means I'm always on the lookout for other ways to fill the gaps. That's right, outside of speaking, I'm working three jobs. All of this just to attempt to pay the bills. I'm not complaining, but I do expect more of myself. I know I can do so much more.

I've applied for hundreds of jobs in the poor economy with no results. I've appeared on CNN and submitted articles to magazines. The rules of work hard, get an education and be rewarded are quickly becoming a fantasy. Truth is you can't just expect to be given a job. You can't rely on people you don't know to care about you. You can't put your fate in the hands of the wrong people. The United States wasn't built by people who said, "I'm going to the US to find a job." it was built by people who said they were going to make something happen.

I'm learning that you have to work hard and pursue what you are passionate about. The days I get to coach, speak or perform in front of people are the days I wake up ready to live life.

The days I have to wake up wondering what bill collectors is going to call, I go to jobs I don't like and I expect things to just happen that don't happen are the days I end up dreading.

The rules are changing. We all have to adjust to a new world. The days a good education leading to a good job are over. That expectation is greater than reality. When your expectations are greater than reality you will live a life of dread. We have to adjust to new realities and start making things happen. You have to pursue work that is satisfying and allows you to pursue a passion. This will motivate you to live life and not to live a life of dread. Learn from my experiences. Everyday I look for a job or perform just a job, it's not a good day. When I rely on people who don't know me or care about me, I get let down and dread what's next.

I was told recently that JOB = just over broke. I was also told to look up the definition of job in the dictionary. It said, Hebrew word meaning persecuted. I also have a friend that says we are meant to work, not to job.

The days I don't dread waking up are the days that I am chasing my dreams. They require a lot of work. The days I am working to make my dreams happen are fulfilling. I enjoy the days where I am rewarded spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and fiscally for that work the I have done and believe in.

When none of the above happens, that is when we dread life. For me dreading life is about being forced to work jobs that don't advance me personally or professionally.

Don't be a victim of dread! Look yourself in the mirror and make something happen. Everytime I do that, good things happen!

Hudson Valley Community College

Next Wednesday, February 29th, I will be in Albany, NY to speak at Hudson Valley Community College. If you are in the area, please feel free to stop by and here me speak with my speaking partner Rodger Campbell. We are the BAD BAD Apples and we inspire people to experience success.

Get Naked

In December, I did a speech at Grand Canyon University in Arizona. The speech was on Drama and how it effects your life. During the speech I showed a slide that read "Get Naked."

Get Naked meant that we had to be honest with ourselves and the people around us. We often hide behind smoke and mirrors to make things appear real or better than they are. This false front supposedly will make us feel better, but all it really does is make us feel empty and causes us to lie to ourselves.

During my blog writing experience, there are times when I have been very "naked" and shared my true feelings and thoughts. There have also been points where I have only shown the good things. I did this to keep people motivated and inspired. I've learned over the years, that when I'm am truly honest and naked, people connect more with me and this blog. People are attracted to genuine people, thoughts, ideas and experiences.

Typing this blog is a little bit of therapy for me. When I'm feeling down, I can go and read the blog to lift my spirits. I can also use this blog to express my feelings in cyber space to clear my mind and not choke people or lash our in anger/emotion. It can be very calming.

I'll admit there are a lot of mistakes in spelling and grammer, but no one is perfect. We enjoy seeing that people are not perfect. I am far from it. I'm just good at being me and I thank all of you for reading about me to see what I'm up too. As always this blog is typed so I can Educate, Inspire and Entertain. There will be good days and not so good days that I will share, but it's me showing who I really am, sharing my thoughts and ideas. You may connect with some, you may not, but at least you'll know I'm being real.

Thank you for continuing t read. My goal is to post at least two blogs a week this year. Sometimes there will be more, sometimes there will be less. As long as I hit 104 by the end of 2012, all will be good. Feel free to suggest blogs for me to write.

You can e-mail me at

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Talented People

There are times we meet talented people in our life.

My neighbor Mike is one of those people. Everyday I come home I see him working on artwork for his brother. His brother is a children's dentist. Mike has been painting different Super Heroes for the office for the last year. It's fun to watch him start and finish. I've seen him make drawings of Wonder Woman, The Green Lantern,Superman and now Captain America.

Check out Mike's website to see more of his work. Http://

Monday, February 06, 2012

Question for the week

I pose this question to all of my readers:

"Do you dread going to your job?"

I work several part-time jobs. One of them really drives me "CRAZY." I know I'm not the only person who feels this way, but after talking with other people recently, I realize how big a problem this is worldwide!

Be on the look out for my thoughts on this subject......

To Be Continued!

Fortune Cookie Quote of the Week

Went to dinner with Kelly to our favorite Chinese restaurant. At the end of the night, we got our fortune cookies and I read this great fortune.

"Discontent is the first necessity o progress."

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Ready to Nosh

A few weeks ago, I responded to a posting for a Culinary Food Guide. The opportunity sounded fun. Company was looking for outgoing people to entertain and host groups on a guided food tour of downtown Phoenix. What does that mean? It's simple. Take people from restaurant to restaurant to show them a great time while enjoying GREAT food.

I take people to one restaurant for appetizers, then to another for dinner and finally end at another for dessert and "beverages." My job is to keep the conversations going. Make sure everyone has a great time and to order the food.

I'm not sure who has more fun the people who come on the tour or me. My rules are pretty simple, eat lots of food, meet and talk with new people and have fun.

The tours are put on by "Ready to Nosh." The company offers different tours around the United States. You can learn more about the tours by going to clicking HERE.

If you would like me as your tour guide, be sure to request me. We'll have a good time and have some YUMMY eats!

Radio Broadcast Part 2

Here is the rest of the interview from the "Breakthrough Thinking" radio on January 23, 2012.


Click here to listen