dread |dred|
verb [ trans. ]
anticipate with great apprehension or fear : Jane was dreading the party | [with infinitive ] I dread to think what Russell will say.
• archaic regard with great awe or reverence.
Has life turned out the way you expected? Do you like your job? Do you like your situation in life? Do you feel things are harder for you than others? Do you have a hard time getting out of bed? Do you constantly ask yourself, "why me?" Do you feel your job hinders your life more than making it happen?
I can truly type that I ask and answer the questions above. Most of my blog posts show off the good points of my life, but every now and then I'll post something about the not so good.
Today is the not so good, or the truth about being an aspiring professional speaker.
Over five years ago, I began the adventure to pursue something I am truly passionate about. I'll admit, I've done things right and I've made more than a few mistakes. Through it all I was working towards my passion. The problem is, there are lots of roadblocks, detours and natural disasters that occur when you are chasing after your passion. These are days when you can't work on your passion. These days can lead to you dreading life. The question is, what will you do to change that dread.
Many people have heard the comment "starving artist" or "struggling artist." They are so true. When I have to the opportunity to speak and perform, the feeling is amazing. They pay is "really" good and I feel alive. Then just like that, I can go weeks or months before I feel that way again. As I said, the pay is and can be "really" good when you are working, but when you're not working, you're not getting paid. The fear of how do I live and support my family become very overwhelming. I am forced to find other forms of income.
Life is not easy. We have responsibilities. Many of them are financial. When you're not getting paid you have to find ways to pay the bills. For me, this means looking for work or in many cases Part-time jobs. Everyone thinks I should be able to get a great job with not problem. I wish that was true. I can't even get an interview. Over the years, I've chosen to accept a variety of part-time jobs. Many of these jobs make me feel less than I am because there is no sense of satisfaction, no real purpose or goal, the pay stinks (Companies, minimum wage doesn't meet minimum living standards) and motivation to enjoy life is very low.
I have a great resume, college education, great references, a ton of experience and a proven track record of successes. But, just like so many, I'm left scratching my head wondering why I can't find something satisfying and will pay the bills and allow me and my wife to save for the future or treat ourselves to the occasional treat. I often think how can we have a family living this way.
When I'm not speaking, I put us situations that allows unsatisfying jobs to dictate our lives.
Over the years, I've applied to work several jobs. Some, I said I would never work or apply for. Some have been better than expected, but most have been what was expected. A few examples are below
I spent time renting cars for Enterprise Rental Cars. It was advertised as management job. it wasn't. They may go down as the worst employer I have EVER worked for. If you're ever thinking about working for them, don't do it.
I worked for the Phoenix Zoo. It was a good three years. I learned a lot and met lots of good people, but working for a non-profit doesn't pay your bills and the commute was just too long. Thank you Oil companies for affordable fuel.
Right now I work at Bed, Bath and Beyond (BBB). I stock shelves, work a register and clean toilets at night. I feel really glamorous after performing in front of hundreds of people one night, I change lives. The next day the ego takes a hit by working retail. I get tired of hearing why are you here, you could do so much better. Or I hear "why aren't you a manager, you act like one." (I teach and train managers and leaders nationwide) I often ask myself. "Why am I here?" BBB has proven to me why I got out of retail so many years ago. Retail is not fun to work in. Customers aren't happy because of poor customer service and low quality merchandise. Retailers say they believe in "customer service," but most of the time they just want you to push items on customers that are poor quality and no one wants. Which is the opposite of customer service. There are many times where corporate decisions leave employees performing damage control while being yelled at by customers. I'll admit BBB is flexible with my schedule. Most jobs probably would have fired me by now, but to be honest I have no motivation to go to work other than collecting a check in the attempt to pay our bills (my college loan and other bills I racked up pursuing my education.). I have no long term future with BBB and it will probably be shorter after posting this blog. But, the honesty really makes me feel better.
I do have two things I enjoy doing. I'm working as a Food Tour guide in Phoenix, Arizona and working as Respite Care provider for a local non-profit. I really like the work I do for them, but the hours aren't consistent, which means I'm always on the lookout for other ways to fill the gaps. That's right, outside of speaking, I'm working three jobs. All of this just to attempt to pay the bills. I'm not complaining, but I do expect more of myself. I know I can do so much more.
I've applied for hundreds of jobs in the poor economy with no results. I've appeared on CNN and submitted articles to magazines. The rules of work hard, get an education and be rewarded are quickly becoming a fantasy. Truth is you can't just expect to be given a job. You can't rely on people you don't know to care about you. You can't put your fate in the hands of the wrong people. The United States wasn't built by people who said, "I'm going to the US to find a job." it was built by people who said they were going to make something happen.
I'm learning that you have to work hard and pursue what you are passionate about. The days I get to coach, speak or perform in front of people are the days I wake up ready to live life.
The days I have to wake up wondering what bill collectors is going to call, I go to jobs I don't like and I expect things to just happen that don't happen are the days I end up dreading.
The rules are changing. We all have to adjust to a new world. The days a good education leading to a good job are over. That expectation is greater than reality. When your expectations are greater than reality you will live a life of dread. We have to adjust to new realities and start making things happen. You have to pursue work that is satisfying and allows you to pursue a passion. This will motivate you to live life and not to live a life of dread. Learn from my experiences. Everyday I look for a job or perform just a job, it's not a good day. When I rely on people who don't know me or care about me, I get let down and dread what's next.
I was told recently that JOB = just over broke. I was also told to look up the definition of job in the dictionary. It said, Hebrew word meaning persecuted. I also have a friend that says we are meant to work, not to job.
The days I don't dread waking up are the days that I am chasing my dreams. They require a lot of work. The days I am working to make my dreams happen are fulfilling. I enjoy the days where I am rewarded spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically and fiscally for that work the I have done and believe in.
When none of the above happens, that is when we dread life. For me dreading life is about being forced to work jobs that don't advance me personally or professionally.
Don't be a victim of dread! Look yourself in the mirror and make something happen. Everytime I do that, good things happen!
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